Reformed SHEology

Every now and then, I come across some blog posts about how irritated some people are with their church. They've absolutely had it with the pastor, the congregation, the new color that was chosen to paint the walls, whatever. The issue has really got them all hot and bothered, and they tell everyone on the World Wide Web how heinous and awful their church is (taking special care to play the victim so that their gossip will be justified). Then they pose this question to their readers: Should I leave this church and go somewhere else? If you are one of those who is wondering whether or not to leave your church, allow me to share a very personal story, which I hope will put your "crisis" into perspective.

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When I was 18 years old, a girl from college shared the gospel with me, and I was born again on the spot. But my new Christian friends told me I needed to be baptized in order to be truly saved. All I needed to do, according to them, was get baptized. Sounds simple enough, right? There was just one problem. I didn't believe for a second that baptism saved me. I considered that to be a work, and the Scriptures tell us that no man is justified by works. Naturally, this caused a great deal of friction in my relationship with my new pals in Christ.

For two months, my new church friends harassed me day and night. They waited outside the steps of my dorm, so I couldn't get in or out without bumping into them. They followed me down the streets, to the point where I had to have campus security escort me to all my classes. Once, when I was window shopping, a loyal disciple of Christ accosted me by getting within inches of my face to tell me I was going to hell. (The only way I could shake him that day was to cause a public disturbance large enough to get mall security to come to my aid.) I was unable to change my phone number, so I had to turn off the ringer. They left horrible messages on my answering machine every day, telling me that I was going to burn in hell because they were the only church on the planet that knew the truth. They also followed me to my job, causing my boss to hide me in a free-standing closet when they demanded to know my whereabouts.

They gave me one last chance to forsake my wicked, sinful belief that baptism is not a requirement for salvation. I refused. And so, they held me against my will for several hours in that apartment.One day they called a truce, and asked me to meet them for lunch. I still remember the address of the four-story apartment where I was served a tuna melt sandwich and greeted with all sorts of awkward, yet obviously rehearsed pleasantries. They gave me one last chance to forsake my wicked, sinful belief that baptism is not a requirement for salvation. I refused. And so, they held me against my will for several hours in that apartment. This was before cell phones, and I couldn't get to a landline. There was only one of me, and about five of them. They locked the doors and told me that the only way they would release me was if I chanted "I am not a Christian, I am not saved, I am going to hell." At first I didn't comply. But after about an hour, I realized that there was no other way out of there. And so I chanted "I am not a Christian, I am not saved, I am going to hell" probably about three or four dozen times before they released me with one last warning that by walking out that door, I was walking out on God Almighty Himself. I don't know how many hours I was there. All I remember is, it was lunchtime when I arrived, and it was dark when I left.
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So that was my introduction to the body of Christ. I don't tell that story very often, but I feel inspired to share it all these years later. I remember feeling absolutely spiritually destitute during that time. Growing up, I was constantly under the weight of existential meaninglessness, hoping that by some miracle there was a purpose to this life, and when I am finally introduced to the most beautiful Person my mind and soul could ever imagine, I am told by His "followers" that I couldn't have any part of Him. It took me months to get my facts straight and rest on the promises of God. I'll admit, there was little comfort in the fact that God allowed that to happen to me in the first place. But some people told me that one day, my story might edify someone. Well perhaps that day is today.

Perhaps you are someone that is in this type of predicament. Let me assure you, God is faithful. He will never abandon or forsake you. You will come out of spiritually abusive situations a bit bruised, but intact. And He promises to make you whole.

But for most of us, situations like this are not the norm. Most of us are just irritated that our leaders are not running things to our liking. Most of us have no idea how good we really have it in our churches. We don't know what real corruption is. We have never experienced real abuses of power. We have never been persecuted by our government. We complain because there's too much emphasis on men's ministry, or there's not enough opportunities for singles, or we don't like the way the hospitality committee is functioning, and so on. We need to remind ourselves that the church is made up of flawed, sinful people. And since we are a sinners ourselves, our presence is only adding to those problems. Instead of complaining about what your church is lacking, consider the fact that perhaps God has brought that to your attention so you can begin the work of building up that area in your local church.

Do I get fed up with my church sometimes? You bet! But I know I have it really good where I am. I know that my leaders, although we don't always see eye-to-eye, always treat me with respect. They do not hold me captive in their homes and force me to chant lies. They do not preach a false gospel. And even if they did, God is in control. His Word has survived throughout the ages. Whatever you are going through, it will pass away -- but His words will never pass away!

So where does your issue fall? On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being a petty disagreement with your church leaders, and 10 being an all-out abuse of power and defamation of the gospel, how would you honestly rate your situation? Or better yet, how would someone else rate your situation?

Today I am pleased to bring you the second installment of our new "SHEologian Spotlight" series by honoring a reader named Jean.

Now just to remind you again how this works, Jean is a total stranger to me. We have never met. The idea is to try to appreciate something about a total stranger as a way to encourage her, but also, to encourage us all (myself included) to simply appreciate the beauty in every single one of God's children. The best way I know how to do this is to view someone's blog. So much of a person's heart, soul, and identity is invested in her blog. So without further ado, here is what I can gather about Jean from her blog:

About Jean
Jean is 27 years old. She enjoys running and monitoring her health through natural means. Jean describes in her Blogger profile that before being saved, she worked as a Mental Health Nurse. Today, she is a full time wife and mother to her three children. Jean resides in Lanchashire, England. She is of Zimbabwean descent.

What Attracted Me To Her Blog
The very first time I visited Jean's blog was in 2008. Someone referred me to a few posts she had written. One thing that I noticed about some (not all) of Jean's posts were that they were very controversial. I did not agree with everything I read, but I admired her courage in posting her thoughts amidst a great deal of backlash. This is something I think we can all learn from Jean, especially when it comes to evangelism. There are many times when we as Christians are faced with tough questions and we are afraid that if we give the truthful answers, people might be angry with us. I cannot say what goes through Jean's head when she reads some of the critical comments she's received from people in the past, but regardless, she's standing up for what she believes in. That's a skill we all need to develop!

Why I am Grateful for Jean
The main reason I have chosen to celebrate Jean in this installment of SHEologian Spotlight is that she has recently posted a very candid and touching confession on her blog. In her March 23 post, "An Open Apology to All," Jean pours out her heart as she admits to sins of pride and legalism. The post is truly inspiring because it illustrates how truly powerless we are in many cases to see our own sin, and how desperately we need God to do the work of change in our lives. What is really truly amazing about Jean's post is that she describes what she was like as a legalist: how she judged others for not being able to pull themselves up from their own bootstraps, only to discover that she was in the very same predicament, unable to pull herself out of bondage to legalism. Here is an excerpt from her story:

To me everyone else became lost. The road had been narrow before, but it became even narrower. Almost impossible. Before long I had come to believe that all the churches out there are apostate. I even believed there was no true Pastor alive today. All bible teachers were deceived . . .I started isolating myself from other believers, and I became a lone ranger Christian, eventually leaving the church I was attending . . . Yet I felt so empty inside. So lonely. Something was so wrong and I could not put my finger on it. I would ask God to help me over and over, yet the next day I would feel worse . . . Somehow deep down I knew these other believers had encouraged me so much. I had never realised it until I was completely cut off from other Christians. I even missed the Christians who had encouraged me on my blog. I had never felt so isolated . . . I realised my error. I realised the lies and deceits I had followed. I realised that I had been so deceived. It felt like I have been bewitched, as if someone had cast a spell on me. And suddenly the Lord pulled me out. There was something spiritually dark and unhealthy about the whole experience. I came face to face with who I really am. I realised what a terrible witness for Christ I had been. I realised how I had gone around calling everyone that did not agree with me lost. I had been so judgemental. I judged people's hearts. Yet no one judged my heart. I was a legalist. I was in error. I was wrong.

Reading this confession from Jean brings tears to my eyes every time I read it (and I have read it time and time again) because it is so encouraging to me. It is encouraging because I know legalistic people, and at times it seems as though they will never change. Jean is the inspiration that miracles in this area do happen. But even more encouraging is the reminder that GOD IS AT WORK! He never leaves us or forsakes us, even when we are marinating in our most ungodly attitudes. He remains with us through every season of our lives, and does not withdraw His faithfulness when we are faithless. And we see from Jean's story, that performing certain actions is a faithless task. James said that faith without works is dead. Likewise, works without faith is also dead. Works without faith is just works, and no man is justified by his works.

I am grateful to Jean for her courage. I think it is human nature for each of us to have so much pride that we don't even admit our shortcomings to one another. Yet this is exactly what the Great Physician would have us to do. Confession is freeing to those who are confessing, and it is a blessing to those of us who are on the receiving end of the confession.

When I first approached her about the SHEologian Spotlight, she protested, saying she did not think she was a good example to others. I thought she might say something like that. It is a pretty typical response of those who are recently humbled, because they do not want to become prideful again, but also because they are truly so grieved over their sin, they cannot possibly see themselves as an encouragement to anybody.

On April 23, C.J. Mahaney spoke as a guest at my home church, and he delivered a powerful message about God's love for us. In his message, C.J. asked, "Why do we have such a hard time believing that God loves us?" C.J. shared his personal theory: it's because we look within ourselves for any redeeming qualities, and we are disappointed, because there are no redeeming qualities that come from within! Instead, we must look to Calvary for the reasons to forgive ourselves and move on.

Jean was right on one hand. She is not a good example, at least, not if we were to measure her actions based on her own merits. But when we look at her story and take the focus off Jean and instead put it on what God has done in her life, then we can't find a more wonderful, perfect example than Jean.

If you would like to meet Jean, visit her blog:
The Virtuous Woman

Please Note: The SHEologian Spotlight series is designed to honor our readers, whomever they may be. We do not necessarily agree with everything that is posted on other people's blogs. We recognize some of these views may likewise differ from yours. Should you desire to pursue these issues further with any of the individuals featured in this series here or on their blogs, we humbly ask that you keep the discussion friendly and irenic in the spirit of brotherly love. Thank you and God Bless!

I have been very stressed out lately. So much, that last weekend I noticed spots all over my arms - little, red itchy spots. I had the chicken pox when I was a child, and I've been told you can't get them twice. My mother is not a doctor, but she works in the medical field (and she is a mom), so I asked her to look at my spots. After examining me briefly, she said, "I don't know what it is, but if it gets any worse, see a doctor . . . and stay away from me!"

Varicella Zoster Virus (VZV), which causes chicken pox, also causes shingles. Even though my mother had chicken pox as a child, she once experienced a very severe case of shingles as an adult. Knowing her immune system was weak in the face of VZV, she avoided me as much as possible. My father, on the other hand, has an incredibly strong immune system. While my mother ran for cover every time I entered the room, my father sat, undisturbed. The possibility that I might be infected with VZV did not cause him any worry whatsoever. Reflecting upon this situation, I am reminded of a passage from the Book of Romans:

Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things. For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. (Romans 14:1-4, Emphasis mine.)

How does this relate to my unidentified illness? I'll give you an illustration. Let's suppose that every time I walked into a room, my mother wore a surgical mask and sprayed disinfectant on everything I touched. Then imagine my mother looking down her nose at my dad because he isn't as health-conscious as she is! Of course, this would be unreasonable of my mother, because my father has no reason to care about being exposed to my germs. It's not because he's stupid, careless, or even attracted to the idea of getting sick. No, the reason my father doesn't care about being exposed to my germs is because he knows VZV does not pose a problem for him personally. My father can handle my germs because his immune system is strong. My mom, in spite of all her pious displays of good hygiene, would only be performing these silly rituals for one reason and one reason alone: her immune system is weak.

The chicken pox scenario in my family is a lot like the way we behave when we are being legalistic, isn't it? When we judge others, it gives us the illusion that our faith is strong. We think, "Oh look at that one wearing makeup, or cutting her hair short, or having a career, or sending her children to public school or feeding high fructose corn syrup to her family or (insert your favorite example here)!" We shake our heads in false pity and feel sorry for this "carnal" sister. After all, her faith is weak. She is easily lured by the ways of the world. You and I, on the other hand, choose to stay far, far away from those things. This is because we have the strength to resist them, right? Wrong.

Look carefully at that passage again. Who in the passage is described as being weak? Is it the one who eats meat sacrificed to idols? On the contrary, the one who is weak is the one who abstains. I'll give you a personal example. Geraldine is on Facebook, and I am not. There have been times in the past when I have openly denounced Facebook with such a passion that I have caused Geraldine (and others, I'm sure) to feel conflicted about it. On the surface, I appear to be the strong one. After all, I'm the one with conviction, right? Geraldine, who experiences doubt about her choices from time to time (thanks to me and my strong convictions) appears weak in her faith. But look carefully at that passage again. Who in the passage is described being as weak? Is it the one who eats meat sacrificed to idols? On the contrary, the one who is weak is the one who abstains. Why is this so? Because the one who abstains is the one who struggles with something that isn't necessarily unclean! (Romans 14:14,20).

I could argue that Geraldine is weak in her faith because she doesn't have the strength to resist Facebook. But in reality, I am weak in my faith because I don't have the strength to use Facebook without encountering a problem. Facebook to me is like the Varicella Zoster Virus. I know that if I am exposed to it, I will stumble into all kinds of sin. Geraldine is not prone to the same sins I am. She can openly be exposed to Facebook and not get sick. Therefore, Geraldine is the stronger of the two of us. And as a result, she has the freedom to enjoy all the fun that comes with having a Facebook account. I do not have this same liberty. Sure, I miss out on the fun, but I compensate for this by telling myself that I am just a lot more holy than all the people who use Facebook. (Do you see how this works? The flesh is clever, isn't it?)

Readers, do you see how deceptive legalism can be? Not only are we imposing rules upon people who do not need them, we are robbing people of the joy that God has freely given them to experience. It is wrong for us to rob others of the joy that comes with seeing a movie or singing a pop song on the radio or wearing the latest fashion, simply because it poses a problem for us personally. It would be like my mother requiring all of you to wear a surgical mask in my presence when being in my presence is not a danger to you to begin with.

At the same time, we are not to flaunt our liberty in the face of the weaker brother. Romans 14 warns the strong Christian to protect the weak one. In other words, if Geraldine were to brag about how much fun Facebook is, and how much joy I am missing out on, and check her Facebook account right in front of me, that would cause me to stumble and it would be sin on her part. But Romans 14 also acknowledges that an equal problem arises when the weak Christian looks down on the strong Christian for the very liberty God has given her to enjoy.

How many of us have deceived ourselves into thinking we were the stronger Christian? We set up unreasonable rules for people to follow, and anyone who doesn't abide by these rules we label "weak." Could this be you? I've heard it said that the number one sign that we are trapped in legalism is that our joy is gone. Consider the possibility that the years we've spent looking down on others for not homeschooling, or having a career, or wearing jewelry -- or whatever -- were not years spent in pious devotion to holy living. The time we spent pitying those "carnal" Christians trapped in bondage to worldly pursuits were actually years we spent in bondage to our own weaknesses. In a similar fashion, some of us have spent years of our lives under the thumb of these legalistic rules because they were being enforced by someone weaker, who appeared to us to be stronger. Well, appearances can be deceiving!

Remember, God has commanded us: "Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats" (Romans 14:3). In essential things, unity. In nonessential things, liberty. In all things, charity. Let's ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the viruses in our lives, so we can be free of the legalism imposed upon us by others, and in turn free others from the legalism we have imposed upon them.