Reformed SHEology

My all-time favorite episode of The Twilight Zone is called, "The Obsolete Man." In this story, Burgess Meredith stars as a man on trial for his belief in God - a crime punishable by death in a futuristic society that has declared God "obsolete." If you have the time, I highly recommend you spend thirty minutes watching this episode. It is nothing short of riveting! There are several lines throughout this short little screenplay that send chills down my spine. One of them in particular is in the beginning, when the Chancellor boldly declares, "THE STATE HAS PROVEN THAT THERE IS NO GOD!"

Most Christians who are familiar with the fate of the earth can see the parallels between this sci-fi story and end-times prophecy. But we never have to worry that God will be declared "obsolete." This would only frustrate Satan's plan. He needs people to keep believing in the concept of God, because one day, the antiChrist will blaspheme the true God and demand that all worship him instead. Until that day comes, he is preparing by slowly pulling focus off the church and placing it onto the "state." How do I know this? Believe it or not, I learned this in graduate school!

After earning my B.A. in Theatre Arts, I wanted to do something meaningful, so I decided to study social work. One of the courses I took in my graduate social work program included a detailed history of the social work profession. It is common knowledge that social work is a fairly modern profession which has its roots in Christian charity. Up until the 19th Century, charitable acts were the handiwork of the Church. But by the early 20th Century, the movement was defending itself as an official profession, complete with services provided to individuals in need that would warrant changes in social policy if they were to be truly effective.

But what, pray tell, could the church do in order to lobby for social policy? After all, there was that little problem of "separation of church and state." The only solution was to declare social work as a legitimate, secular profession. This way, the profession could receive funding from the government, instead of relying on the tithes and offerings of church laypeople, as the church had done in the past.

So all those nice programs the government has set up (such as TANF) are designed by men to "help" people. But spiritually speaking, they are really designed by the enemy to suck the momentum out of the church. Sound crazy? Perhaps, but it's working! How many people do you know look to the church when they are in need? God has ordered the Church to take care of orphans and widows. But in this current chapter of human history, who is taking care of orphans and widows? The STATE. (In 1935, most of the single-mother beneficiaries of welfare were widows; by 1988, most of these women with children were either unmarried or divorced.) And thus, the natural, God-ordained female tendency toward "helping" was instrumental in setting the stage for the government to become a savior to the people.

People are looking en masse to the state to fulfill their needs. They are looking to the state to be their savior. Hard times? No problem. Uncle Sam will give us all economic stimulus checks. If we are good and continue to pay our taxes, the State will educate our children for free! What's that? Healthcare is too expensive? Well then the solution is to lobby for socialized medicine! This way we can be rid of all those nasty HMO's and have our medical needs covered by the tithe - I mean taxes - that we pay to the state.

"Separation of Church and State" was never meant to protect the State from the Church. On the contrary, it was the other way around. The government is not to meddle in the affairs of the church. But the enemy has skillfully twisted this phrase in order to increase power to the state. The church can offer outreaches, but it is no match for a government which creates competing programs that are backed by billions of dollars in funding. If this continues, the charitable acts of the Church in America will become obsolete, (if they haven't already).

And how did we get into this predicament? It was Jane Addams and others that founded Hull House in Chicago, Illinois who lobbied for the secularization of charitable acts. And thus the social work profession began. What would propel Jane Addams to take on such a noble endeavor?

Simple. She wanted to help people.

Today, the social work profession is dominated by females. Ask any of them, "Why did you want to become a social worker?" Their answer will undoubtedly contain the phrase, "Because I wanted to help people." (I can attest that was my reason for becoming a social worker.) Every day, social workers are "helping" people get connected to resources that our loving government has so generously offered to all who are in need. The crafty serpent had targeted women yet again to accomplish his goals. And thus, the natural, God-ordained female tendency toward helping was instrumental in setting the stage for the government to become a savior to the people.

Fascinating, isn't it?

Last week I was speaking with an old friend of mine. "Sally" is one of my dearest friends whom I have known for twelve years. She is one of the most spiritually mature women I know, and highly sensitive to issues concerning motherhood. You see, Sally was adopted as an infant. If there is anyone I know who truly appreciates the beauty of parenting, it is my friend Sally. Yet Sally remains childless, as one by one, everyone around her is becoming pregnant.

I can identify with Sally. I came from a place of selfish feminist philosophy, thinking marriage was stupid. God changed me so radically, I not only understand the concept of marriage, but I have come to desire it. Last year, all of my friends started relationships. Then one by one, all of my friends' relationships successfully ended in either engagement or marriage. I am the only one who had a potential opportunity last year that ended, period.

Sally and I were surveying the people we knew and placing horrible judgments on them. We marveled over the immaturity of some of these individuals. Some were devastated to learn they were pregnant, complaining about how they were going to get "fat." Some were obviously not prepared for marriage, not wanting to give, but only expecting to receive. Together, Sally and I proudly asserted that if anyone desereves a child, it is Sally, and if anyone deserves for a relationship to work, it's me! I have done everything God has asked me to. I have studied all the scriptures and been more obedient than the rest. I did everything "by the book." I even followed God down roads I didn't want to in order to serve a man I wasn't attracted to at first, only for him change his mind, and that was that. What gives? How can God give a baby to these selfish, stuck up women, and a husband to these immature women who have no idea what they're in for, when Sally and I are prepared for and so well "deserving" of these gifts? Doesn't God trust us with these gifts? Haven't we rightfully earned them, moreso than these younger, foolish, less mature Christians? If you are a woman who has ever entertained these types of thoughts, allow me to point you to Luke 15, the story of the Prodigal Son.

In this story, the father represents God. The prodigal represents the immature, foolish Christian who has squandered his time with God in pursuit of worldly things. However, there is a third character in this story -- that of the elder son. Note that he is not just any son, but that he is the older of the two. Why is this important? Because in Biblical times, the older son always got the largest portion of his father's estate. In this story, the older son says, "Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him." (Luke 15:29-30). The father responds, "Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.” (Luke 15:30-31).

This message was preached at my church this morning, and as I sat there and listened, I began to survey my life. As I reviewed everything I have, I realize that God appears to have given me much more than He has given any of my friends. Yet here I am, complaining about not getting a goat, and stating my case that I am more deserving of a goat because I have always obeyed Him and followed Him more closely than my friends. Immediately I grew ashamed of my attitude. On one hand, it is unbiblical in the sense that I am viewing any gift from God as a "reward" for my good works, which is not a doctrinally sound way to view the God of the Bible. On the other hand, I am comparing myself to others and coming to some very self-righteous conclusions. God has not withheld anything from me and Sally. He does not love us any less than His other children. In fact if Sally and I look closely, we will see that much like the elder Son, God has bestowed upon us far more blessings than many of our friends.

How about you? What is God doing in your life? Is it possible He will call you to lifelong singleness? What if He never allows you to have a child? Will you be as the elder son in the story, refusing to rejoice with your friends because they have something that you don't?

It was Keith Green who wrote, "He's brought me here where things are clear and trials turn to gold." Only in God's Kingdom can trials turn to gold. You may never marry. You may never be a mother in the biological sense. But if you submit to God's will, those tears of disappointment will one day water and bring forth much fruit. God may give you the opportunity to nurture and help in ways that you never could imagine if you were a wife and mother in the earthly sense. If God has not yet given you your heart's desire, perhaps He is simply reminding you, "You have been with me always, and all that I have is yours."

After nearly 15 years of life as a single Christian woman, I am pretty well acquainted with those ministries commonly referred to as "singles groups." My attitude toward many of these groups traditionally has not been very positive. That all changed when I attended my first meeting of Undivided, the singles ministry of Metro Life Church, where I am a currently a member.

My past experience demonstrated to me that church singles groups generally exist for the sole purpose of consoling poor singles who are grieving their singleness. I found, throughout the years, that these groups were largely fellowship-based, heavy on the social interaction, but light on devotions. Most singles, it seemed, were more interested in attending these functions for one reason and one reason alone: to find a spouse. Those who lamented the curse of their present marital status were often met by leadership with these words of comfort: "Look on the bright side! This is a time to focus on yourself!"

The first night I attended an Undivided meeting, I was met with a much different philosophy: "Tell me, when in the Christian life are we ever permitted to focus on the self?"

To say that I was impressed is an understatement. I sat forward in my chair, my curiosity growing as I had never heard anything like this before at any singles group I had attended throughout all my years as a Christian.

"Listen, if you want to get married someday, the time to practice biblical masculinity and biblical femininity is now. Marriage is a ministry to another person. You will be expected to serve that other person and put that other person first in all your decisions. You are in for a rude awakening if you think you are going to just miraculously be granted the gift of service on your wedding day. If you plan on being married someday, start serving others now."

This is what the Christian life is all about: dying to self. I thought that I was being very holy because unlike all the other singles, I was not remotely interested in getting married. I had mistakenly believed that I was more pious because I had no desire for another. I was completely content in God alone. But the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. The truth was, my joy was not in serving God. No, I remained single because I was completely content in serving MYSELF.

Since that time, some have said to me, "Jennifer, what's with all this submission stuff? You don't need to worry about that. You're not married." Well, I would dispute that for two reasons. The first reason is, if I'm not going to miraculously receive the gift of service on my wedding day, what makes me think I'm going to miraculously receive the gift of submission? I had better start practicing now if I want to be any good at it when that day comes. But the second reason goes much deeper than that.

Some have said the Bible claims women need only submit to their husbands, pastor, father, employer, and of course God. But they technically don't need to submit or display biblical womanhood to any men other than that. Perhaps that is true. But what is the benefit in that?

The Bible says, all things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being. (1 Corinthians 10:23-24).

Now I ask you, it may be lawful to submit to my husband and no other man, and that may be all God requires of me. But how is that edifying to other men around me? If I am gracious with my husband, but contentious with other men in my church, does that edify those men? What am I doing to their sense of masculinity by refusing to honor their leadership or rejecting their authority?

Should I wait to have children before I am a positive influence on a child? Or would it be edifying to the children around me to be a positive influence on them now? Do I want to confuse my youngest, most impressionable brothers in sisters in Christ because I technically don't have to model biblical femininity to someone else's children? What type of example am I setting for other little boys and girls when I disagree with a man in public, or insist on holding a position of leadership, or behave as though all that men and women stuff is just for married people? Won't I be making another parent's job more difficult, because I am not providing these children with consistency between what they are learning at home, at what they see acted out in the body of Christ?

And what of the lost? Should I also be a source of confusion for them as well? As I try to explain that Christ came to restore what was lost in the Garden of Eden, should I behave in a manner that continues to celebrate that which was lost, as though it had not been restored? Should I continue to promote attitudes about men and women that were only introduced into the world when the curse of sin entered?

I may be single now, and I may be married in the future, but I am now, have always been, and always will be a woman in this life. Being married or single does not alter that role. Submissiveness and silence and all the things that make me feminine are not dependent on my marital status any more than they are dependent on what church I attend, the ministries in which I serve, the friends I have, or where God has chosen for me to work. I am a woman, and there is no escaping that. Why would I only want to celebrate that when I'm married?

For the longest time, I misunderstood 1 Corinthians 7. I honestly thought Paul was saying it was better to be single because single people were holier. I am embarrassed over how misguided I was. Both callings to singleness and marriage require service to others, only the focus is different. It is a lot like being male or female. Neither is more precious to God, and one is not better than the other. The roles are just different.

In marriage, I will be serving my own spouse and my own children. But as a single, I am blessed in that I have the opportunity to widen that ministry. I am a helper to every man. I am a mother to every child. Not having my own husband or children gives me the freedom to give my time, money, talents, and heart to others. That's what Christianity is all about: giving your life away in mimicry of the One who gave the ultimate Life away.

I am so thankful to my God for His sovereign wisdom. In all His glory He saw fit to make me a woman, to place me in the lives of those who need a temporary helper or a mother where one may not be available. Focus on myself? Oh Lord may it never be! Dear Christ You gave Your life away, thus let it be with me.

I encourage you to watch this excellent sermon by John Piper: Single in Christ: A Name Better than Sons and Daughters.

Note: After this post was published, it was later discovered that a book exists by the same title. The material in this post is not related to the book, Helper by Design by Elyse Fitzpatrick. However, we plan to read and review that book on this site soon.

One of the things we tend to do as fallen creatures in a fallen world is look for someone to blame for everything that goes wrong, especially in matters concerning the opposite sex. Men like to joke that if it weren't for women, they'd still be in Eden. The female comeback to this is that the reason God made men first is because you always do a rough draft before unveiling your final masterpiece.

While these silly statements are made in jest, I believe there is truth in jest, at least in the idea that these comments signify some real resentment on both sides due to our failure to communicate and understand one another. It also stands to reason that because the Bible portrays God in the masculine gender, I think more often than not this results in a communication breakdown between women and their Creator. Many women blame God for the state of their interpersonal relationships with men, reasoning that it was God who declared the woman subject to masculine authority, and since men don't always play fair, we suffer at their hands. Therefore, it's God's fault.

What we are doing here is comparing apples and oranges. We cannot evaluate God's mindset based upon the fallen creation. Rather, we need to look at what the Bible says about God's vision for His creation before sin entered the picture.

In Genesis 1:26, we see God create man in His image. We know from Matthew 5:48 that God is perfect, and that His desire is for us to be perfect as well. So it makes sense that God's creation was created in perfect condition. By Genesis 1:28, we see that God has given everything to both the man and the woman to exercise dominion over the creation together. This is very important. God's original intention was that both male and female were to have authority over the rest of creation. Notice the scripture says that God blessed them and addressed both of them, not just the man. The woman was to be right there beside him, exercising authority as well. However, the man was to be the primary authority (Genesis 2:15), and the woman's role was that of helper (Genesis 2:18).

Now if you're like me, you're not too jazzed by the word helper. It implies that women play second fiddle. But I want to call your attention to something very profound. A few months ago, I was watching a pre-recorded broadcast of The Winning Edge. Dr. Dwayne Mercer was delivering a message on marriage and said something to this effect:

Most people automatically believe that the helper is the inferior role. But do not make that mistake! The helper is not inferior, just different. And here's why: In the book of John, Jesus tells His disciples that upon His departure, He will send them a Helper. Consider these verses:

And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—(John 14:16)

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. (John 14:26)

But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. (John 15:26)

Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for
if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will
send Him to you. (John 16:7)

No one would argue that the Holy Spirit is inferior to the Father or the Son, simply because His role is that of Helper. Likewise, we should never assume that the woman is inferior to the man because her role is that of helper.

The realization set in as I was listening to this message that just as God created man in His own image (Genesis 1:26), the woman was created in the image of God as well, only we can infer that she was fashioned after the third Person of the Trinity. Wow! That gives a whole new perspective on the word, helper doesn't it?
No one would argue that the Holy Spirit is inferior to the Father or the Son, simply because His role is that of Helper. Likewise, we should never assume that the woman is inferior to the man because her role is that of helper.
One of the things that I learned during my two and a half years of being de-programmed of my feminist ideas is that God is never at fault, and He is never to blame for anything that goes wrong in my life. Being created a woman was not an accident, but a very deliberate, calculated decision made by God. It is an honor to be given the role of helper. Being a helper comes with its own power -- it just manifests itself differently from the power of leadership. We are literally helpless without our Helper. I cannot do anything apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. And I know many men who would say that they wouldn't be where they are today without the help of a godly woman.

The Holy Spirit is quiet and gentle. He softly convicts us of sin, without a word. He gently guides us to the right decisions. In a similar fashion, consider the power women have over the men in their lives -- to gently guide them toward making godly decisions. Of course, this power of influence can be used in an evil way -- just look at the adulteress in Proverbs 7. But as Christians, we want to use our power and influence over the men in our lives in a way that will edify them. After all, we are their helpers. We do not wish to do them harm.

Consider the men in your life. Perhaps you have a brother or a son that you want to encourage toward a deeper relationship with God. If so, you can encourage him to grow in biblical masculinity simply through the quiet example of a gentle spirit, just like our God, the Holy Spirit. How will you exercise your power and influence as a woman? Who will you encourage today?