Bridezillas Beware!

Here in the States we have a cable television program appropriately titled, "Bridezillas." The entire premise of the show can be adequately summed up in this short clip, running only 21 seconds:



Somewhere along the way we have adopted the idea that a wedding is all about the bride. What a travesty! When we consider the beauty and symbolism inherent in the wedding ceremony, we can see why any bride who asserts, "This is MY DAY!" is reducing this occasion to a grotesque, debased imitation of the real thing. Newsflash: it's not about me!

Now, I'm no wedding expert, but I think if we notice the way the wedding ceremony is set up, it is reminiscent of the relationship between Christ and the Church. The groom arrives first, and the bride comes to meet Him:
For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17).
Traditionally, the groom vows to honor and cherish his wife, while the bride promises to love, honor, and obey. Finally, the new couple is pronounced man and wife (not woman and husband). They are the announced to the witnesses and guests as "Mr. and Mrs. Husband's Last Name." The entire process demonstrates the the acquiring of a wife by a man, not the conquest of a man by a woman. This is because God chooses us. We do not choose Him. A woman becomes part of the man's "world" because God saves us and brings us into His kingdom, where we will live with Him forever.

When I consider these things, I always wonder why wedding ceremonies are so bride-centered. It seems as though we should give a bit more recognition to the groom, not just because he illustrates Christ in relation to the Church, but because as the man, he is taking on a greater responsibility by agreeing to protect, provide for, and lead his wife. I always see wedding guests gushing over the bride, yet the groom so often seems ignored. Aren't the men entitled to a little special attention on this day as well? I wonder if there is a way to reverse this "Bridezilla" mentality in our culture to encourage a more reverent attitude toward one's wedding day and a greater appreciation (or at least an equal opportunity) for the groom.

Of course, the real star of the show is our beautiful Lord Jesus. Our weddings can reflect this, but more importantly, our entire Christian walk should demonstrate that it's all about Him, not about us. On that most ultimate of wedding days, few will be admiring the bride's beauty, because this Groom will be too beautiful to behold. If anyone admires the beauty of the bride, it is only because her beauty is borrowed from the one who has made her beautiful. Truly, when the greatest of Grooms comes to meet His bride, it will be abundantly clear: This is HIS day. Bridezillas, beware!

Update 10/25/08: Ingrid Schlueter has written a wonderful article which expands upon this issue beyond my own efforts. I highly recommend reading her thoughts on the subject by clicking here.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I don't understan people who put their intimacy in front of all and make fool of themselves... wedding ceremony is full of simbolism but people without Christ cannot see that...
October 23, 2008 at 12:37 AM
D and A Abbott said…
so so so true. I got married 3 months ago and most of my friends kept telling me its my day! But I told them no, its about the Groom too. My husband wanted to walk out of the wedding to Star Wars, so we did. Most Brides wouldn't have let that fly. But because I loved my fiance and knew it was our day together I didn't mind, even though I am not a huge star wars fan that he is! Anyway, I've seen the Bridezilla's show, those ladies are so so selfish and most likely not saved. I pray that many of them come to repentance in their relationships with God. I bet my man would have run away if I treated him like those women treat their men!
October 23, 2008 at 7:40 AM
Michelle Maddocks said…
These are a couple of very good thoughtful essays on marriage and weddings. Reminds me of why I really don't like modern weddings. Thank you for voicing these thoughts out loud.
October 23, 2008 at 10:35 AM
Jennifer said…
Hey, Angie -- nice to see you here! Yes, those Bridezillas are ridiculous! It's so sad too, how much time and money is invested in the one day. I would hope they would invest at least half the energy spent planning the wedding into making the marriage work. No wonder the divorce rate is up to 50% these days!
October 23, 2008 at 10:43 AM
Anonymous said…
A great angle on today's weddings from a Biblical perspective, and I can't help but totally agree with you (but you might say I'm biased because I was the groom 10 years ago, haha!).

Great blog -- I came from browsing blogs at Facebook.

Soli deo Gloria!
October 25, 2008 at 7:39 AM
Anonymous said…
This is excellent and so very true. In Bible times, the groom would lead a procession through town to the house of his bride to go take her away as his own. She was the adornment of her husband and not the other way around. Now it's turned into an expesnive freak show funded by bank loans with out-of-control, selfish women running the whole thing. I love your article, thanks! I want to link to this on a couple of my blogs.
October 25, 2008 at 9:31 AM
Jennifer said…
Ingrid, feel free to link to anything you like! I usually write longer posts but not being able to write about marriage from a position of experience, I have only touched upon some of these topics here and there. For this reason I am grateful for your additional contributions to this dicussion!
October 25, 2008 at 9:38 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Did God Change the Sabbath?

I n honor of Good Friday, and to demonstrate that things aren't always what they seem, I thought it apropos to entertain the question, "Did God change the Sabbath?" The question of whether or not the Sabbath should be celebrated on Saturday or Sunday has been hotly debated for years, and in many cases, it has been debated in vain. Seventh Day Adventists will fight tooth and nail for the belief that God never changed the Sabbath. Well, they are wrong. God did change the Sabbath, and for this reason, we are not to celebrate our rest on Saturday. Now, before you "Sunday Sabbath" fans start to high-five each other, let me also make it clear - God did indeed change the Sabbath. But He did not change it to Sunday. For this reason, we are not to celebrate our rest on Sunday either! No more do we need to bicker about what day the Sabbath is, because it isn't a day at all! Dear Reader, isn't that exciting?! How can this be? Well, we often only consider this qu
Read more

The Lord's Table

B ack in September our theme of the month was "True Beauty" and I had posted an article called, Do You Think I'm Fat? which discussed how we can sinfully become obsessed with our outward appearance. I was suggesting that we most likely do more criticizing than reality would dictate. However, in the event that one truly is a bit overweight, instead of complaining, perhaps something should be done about it. I never offered any suggestions for how one might go about overcoming her weight issues, but a sister named Donna had commented that she had great success with a Bible Study called "The Lord's Table," which is available through a ministry called Setting Captives Free. I had never heard of SCF, so I looked over the material. It seemed promising. HOW IT WORKS The Lord's Table is a free online course that is also available in book form. This course addresses the idea that overeating is nothing more than the long ignored, rarely mentioned sin of gluttony
Read more

Almost Cut My Hair

W hen I was a child, I used to love my father's Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young albums. I must have listened to Deja Vu thousands of times. My favorite tracks on that album were "Everybody I Love You," "Carry On," "Helpless," "Four and Twenty," "Teach Your Children," "Woodstock" -- I must confess, the entire album is just a masterpiece. Even though I am a Christian, it remains one of my guilty pleasures to this day. There is one song from that album though that runs through my head without fail every single time I think about cutting my hair. It's hypnotic. It's addicting. It's an anthem. ( Click here for the lyrics ). Obviously, this is a song about rebellion, a favorite of every long-haired hippy and flower child of the Woodstock generation. Ironically, it also appeals to me as a "Reformed SHEologian." For me, growing my hair is an act of counter-rebellion. The Bible says: Does not nature itse
Read more